Celebrating Mother’s Day as a Mom-to-be this past weekend was a lovely and surprising experience. I was not showered with attention (which is just fine by me!!) but, there were definitely sprinkles.
It’s funny to think of myself as a mother when my baby is still about 5 months away from making an appearance in this world. When someone asked me if I feel like a mom yet, I really had to stop and think about it.
Truthfully, no, I don’t. People say that a woman is a mother from the moment she finds out she’s pregnant. For me, it’s been hard to feel that because so much of my pregnancy so far has been difficult, and it was really hard to even believe that I was pregnant, let alone believe I was already a mother to a tiny little baby.
Now that I am better and that tiny little baby is the size of a sweet potato and is starting to make sure his or her presence is felt… do I feel more like a mother?
It’s complicated. Becoming a mother. I compared it to visiting the Grand Canyon. When you are standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon and looking out at it, it’s like looking at a painting. Even though you are THERE and you are looking right at it… it doesn’t seem real. It’s too much to take in at once. It’s too big. That’s how I feel about becoming a mother. I’m here. I’m looking right at it. And it doesn’t seem real. It’s too big.
Soon, very soon… sooner than I might be ready for… I’ll be on a burro headed straight down into that canyon.
I’ll let you know how it looks from the inside.